– hi, I’m Lina, we talked a few months ago. I wondered if you might be interested in a new job opportunity we have for you?

My mind raced for a short moment. Actually, I should tell her that I’m not looking for a change. I’m in my current job since a few months only, and I remember that I was so proud when I joined. Well, to be honest, I have to admit that the first months were a bit of a chaos because I had the misfortune to cross the path of some very toxic people. I was badly hurt but I thought that I had the strength to go on because I had invaluable support from my team. Plus, the company Lina is talking about was, until that moment, the very last I would have wanted to join. Last year, she called me twice and I didn’t even agree to an interview (some weird and maybe inappropriate loyalty to a previous job I left years ago)

Later, I would remember this moment as if I had been a rag doll played by some sadistic puppeteer, hanging with delicate threads that he was relentlessly cutting one by one, and the last one broke that day.

– hi Lina, yeah I remember you very well. Could you tell me more about this job offer?

Quinzième tentative de message et je ne sais toujours pas comment m’exprimer. Comment ce projet peut-il à ce point me faire perdre toute confiance ?

Je ne suis pas assez forte pour ça ?

Je me plains tout le temps, je saoule tout le monde… mais ce n’est pas moi, ça. J’ai toujours été celle qui aide les autres, pas l’inverse.